I entered this poem in the "Unwilling Kiss" contest. I loked it and it is in the way that I would of
preferred the story to of been. I am still a big fan of "Romeo and Juliet", Shakespeare's poem, but
this is the way I would of liked it to of been like. But in story form. If I need to fix anything then just
tell me in the reviews. Also I didn't add any punctuation because this poem just didn't call for it. Read
it however you want too!
He watched her elgance
Every day, every night
Dreaming that one day
It would be him who held her tight
She enjoyed the moments that they had
All their fights
All their laughs
All the nights they had spent together
She embraced them
She wanted them to last forever
They both had different thoughts
But they both had the same
They knew about love
They knew it wasn't a game
But when they got to each other
It was too late
The love made a great tale
Of songs and kings and nightengales
But one thing that Shakespeare didn't explain
Was how they came to love each other in the first place
It was the night after the dance
But this time they hadn't kissed yet
They had only met
"Hello" he cried
Out into the darkness of the night
"Hi" she replied
The butterflies taking flight
After a while
The butterflies settled down
Him on his horse
Her in her favorite gown
They did this a lot
They met every night
They knew that it was wrong
But it was so right
One day he didn't go
It had hurt her feelings so
The letter he did receive
But it didn't say what you think
It started
"Dear Romeo"
And ended with
"My love, My antidote"
He went to her castle
To the room she was in
He sat by her side
And he clutched her hand
Once he drank the poison
He pushed his lips to mine
Thats when I woke
Thats when he died
I didn't kill myself
I had to move on
I couldn't end my life
Because my Romeo was gone
I have missed him very much
And that one touch of his lips
I have wondered what would of happend
If I joined him on his death trip
I never thought that I would miss
That one unwilling kiss
Me and Him
Romeo and Juliet
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This was a great poem, though at some parts it was kind of hard to follow.
I thought you were talking about how Romeo and Juliet came to love each other, then you switched gears and started talking from first person and that he drank the poison but you lived. However, Juliet kills herself.
Maybe I missed something.
Anywho, this was very well written: the rhyming was good, the visuals were wonderful.
You spelled "elegance" wrong.
I think it must have been just a typo, though.
Great job!
Oh my gosh! I forgot about the "knew"! Lol! thank you for your review! Much appreciated!
Awwwwww...... *cries*
I think I am the only person in the world that has not read Romeo and Juliet. Now you make me want to read it.
I think that part was the best. Besides the fact that new is supposed to be knew.
And that eachother needs to be seperated into two words.
I loved it though. Beautiful.
Come on people! Review! Rip it apart!